On Moms

Last night my mom and I had an argument. It was heated, there were plenty of tears on my end and it really sucked. Like really.

I can't even remember now what it was that kicked it off (that's always how it goes isn't it?) But the basis of it was that I needed to borrow her car in the morning because mine is definitely not running. Things escalated from there.

The back story here is that this past weekend has been an incredibly stressful one. On top of me being already stressed due to school and work my car decided to break down for the too-many-th time and I'm buying a new one, having never purchased a car before I am stressed to the max.

My Dad took on the responsibility of checking out craigslist and calling people "They'll just take advantage of you" and I appreciate that too no end! My mom on the other hand was what I felt just distancing herself from the whole situation as much as she could, not helping me, offering support, or being happy for me when I did finally find a vehicle.

This is where the argument begins.

I'll leave the details up to your imagination but it ended with me in tears trying to express that I was stressed out and therefore probably a lot more rude than I thought I was and just wanting my Mom to save me from this sticky situation.

I desperately needed my mom to save me.

I came to the realization last night that I need my mom a lot more than I think I do and probably more than she thinks I do as well.
I'm hardly ever home anymore and that makes it harder for us to have conversations and just time for us to express our love for each other. When I was home all the time there were countless hours that we could just sit and talk (I wish that I would have made use of a few more of those hours now that I realize they have become few and far between).
I think that I'm fine and that I've got it all out when I talk to my friends or my sister but there's just something different about talking to your mom about something. Somehow it makes things better even if she doesn't give you any juicy tidbits of advice or anything.

I'm so thankful that I have a Mom who I can go to when I'm dying a little bit inside. There is no shoulder that is better for crying on, and no ear that is going to listen as sympathetically.

We don't always get along, we're not always going to get a long now, but last night taught me not to take  my mom for granted so much. Just because she's there and constantly ready to love me doesn't mean that she has to. And just because I'm busy and out of the house doesn't mean that I don't need my Mom. I need her now just as much as I did when I was 5 years old. Maybe not in the physical aspect, I can take care of myself. But emotionally I'll never not need my Mom.

She's my grounding.
She's the one I ask before I make big decisions.
She's always going to listen.
She's always going to challenge me.

She's always there for me.



Tell your mom that you appreciate her today.

love&prayers