Today I was thinking about the time that I got a flat tire on my road trip to Rossland.
It was probably the worst experience of my life. Ever.
I was in the middle of no where with no cell service (not that calling anyone would have really helped, it just adds to the drama.)
Anyway, the story goes on, and basically it was me on the side of the road never having changed a tire before in my life now changing a tire. And the worst part is that apparently I looked so capable that NO ONE stopped to offer help. Needless to say, I was incredibly disappointed in humanity for the rest of the day.
Anyway, I managed to get everything done myself and I didn't even cry. I wasn't exactly to the point where I was feeling proud of myself yet, I was still scared to death that the tire was just going to fly off in the middle of the highway. But I made it to the next town with cell service and tried calling my parents (both who did not answer their phones... typical.) and then I called my sister.
This is what I was thinking about today: As soon as I heard my sisters voice I started crying. All that pent up terror and frustration (mostly terror) from the past hour just came pouring out at the sound of a caring voice.
Weird right?
I think it must be like some kind of weird built in survival tactic; don't let yourself crack, don't be vulnerable in a scary situation because then you'll just die. For example; If I had seen that flat tire and just sat down to cry I might still be sitting there crying.
I had to shove all that emotion down because I couldn't deal with it at the moment, I had to be strong and get done what had to be done. And then, when I felt that I had someone who could care for me and make things better I let my guard down and burst into tears.
We're not going to let ourselves cry and put ourselves in that vulnerable state when we're trying to survive a scary situation. It just wouldn't really make sense!
Just an interesting thought... free of charge!
love&prayers
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