near light.

Okay, so this post is scarily similar to my last one. I'd apologize, but it's not really something I'm sorry for. 

The Civil Wars tweeted about this artist this morning, and now that I'm a twitter fanatic I was there to read all about it. (Really... I've tweeted FOUR whole tweets. Woohoo). 

Olafur Arnalds is this amazing composer from Iceland, and he released The Living Room EP last year. It's made up of 7 songs created and recorded one a day for a week... in his living room.

Super cool idea. And super duper cool music.

This one, Near Light

I can't get over.  

It's so real.

The piano is that steady anxious feeling that just won't go away until the end.

The strings make my heart hurt. If I could paint the sound, it'd be grey with tiny threads of gold. Swooping up and down.

And then when the synth comes in around 1:30. 

It makes me hope.

It makes me think that we might be near light.

If we just keep going.

Just a few more steps.

Keep running!  

Hope against the piano, and that cello. 

Hope against my worries and my hurt.

And actually see God at work among it all.

See his hands weaving the most beautiful fabric. 

It ends so softly - almost like it doesn't really end at all. 

Because hope doesn't end.

We keep hoping

and trusting in the truth

until we reach light. 

I've been reading a lot from the Gospel of John lately, it's been so nice! 

I have much more to say to you, more than you can now bear. But when the spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all truth. John 16:12-13

Sometimes, Jesus doesn't tell us everything that he could. Because we might not be able to bear it.

 Or understand it. 

But the spirit of truth is with us now, isn't that exciting? And he is guiding us into all truth now! It's okay that we don't know everything about what life is going to look like, because we have a guide. We don't need to know the path off by heart, because someone else knows it already for us. 

I don't know about you, but for me that makes it seem so much easier to get past being near light. 

We're not just wandering aimlessly. 

We have someone running alongside us. 

Taking those last few hard steps right in stride with us.

To get to actually being in the light. 

It's always so amazing, isn't it, how music can talk?

atlantic.

Just listen.

Just sit and listen.

You might get a little bit teary, I sure do. 

It's something about the simplicity of the cello melody. The contrast of major and minor key sounds throughout. The way the piano holds you. The way you can hear a story without any lyrics. 

The way it builds. 

The way it seems sad, but ends positive.

The way it really does sound like the Atlantic. 

Whatever it is, it warms my soul.

 It might make me cry, but it's those nice kind of tears.

The kind you cry because you just can't believe how beautiful it all is.

Like new born babies, innocent & precious little acts of love, and tiny perfect flowers.

I can't get enough of it. 

sleepingatlast.com 

starting now.

My summer starts today! School is over(hooray hooray hooray)and the weather is beautiful this weekend!
I have a bad habit of letting time just slip through my fingers without realizing what is going on. Therefore setting goals is good for me. These might not really be classified as goals, more like a bucket-list maybe? Whichever: here is what I want to do this summer!

• Go camping for the weekend(actually in a tent, something that I've never done before).
• Go on lots of hikes(specifically Mt. Cheam!)
• Walk around the city at night, when it's still so warm from the sun on the pavement all day.
• Run around in the rain/play frisbee in the rain(without freezing to death). 
• sleep on the roof lots of nights.
• Sidewalk chalk party in-front of Save-On-Foods in the Junction. 
• Swim in Lake Errock lots and lots and lots.
• Have a bonfire at my house(I rarely have people over to my house because it's a long drive, but long drives in the summer are easier to handle for everyone!) 
• Go stargazing(or star-staring, so it doesn't sound so romantically cheesy).
• Take lots of pictures.
• Spend all afternoon on the beach(This will happen at RockRidge for sure, but at home is nice too).
• Go on a road trip(I don't think I'll have time for a nice long one, but a short one will suffice!)
• Watch the clouds. 
• Have picnics. 
• Finger paint outside with Celia(paint EVERYWHERE!)
• Read a totally pointless novel, for pure enjoyment of reading.
• Smell roses. Lots.
• Find a waterfall that I haven't seen before(Just a small one, there are lots around here I'm sure).
• Plant flower baskets.
• Play music with friends for hours and hours(Writing music too!)
• Ride bikes down to the lake in the evening.
• Make jam. 
• Plant a new flower bed(or revamp an old one).
• See Lily and Celia once a week(This is only starting this summer, but needs to continue for always). 
• Work on new creative projects                                - MCC furniture made amazing                                 - Pillows like these ones                                      - Start writing again
• Learn a new skill(drawing! For me, this will require taking a class of some kind... As I'm currently hopeless). 
• Pick lots of strawberries.
• Eat tomatoes, carrots, peas, and everything else right out of the garden. 
• Go canoeing when the lake is still and listen to the silence.
• Blow bubbles in the park. 

That's 30 things to do this summer! Some of them matter a lot, some of them not as much. But, they all make me stop and enjoy just how beautiful and precious life is! 

What are you going to do this summer? I'd love to hear!

above anything else.

I don't have a lot to worry about. 

I worry a lot. 

Something seems off there doesn't it?

I'm not sure why I drag myself into the worries I do. Most of them are pretty rational, but if I really think about it... is there ever a need to worry about anything?  

If you know the same God that I do, there isn't.

I think this is one of the biggest things that I still need to learn about my God. He takes care of things. Everything. 

And all I need to do is follow. 

All I need to do is follow! 

It sounds easy, but I've been discovering lately that things that sound easy are quite often not. Talking about them is easy, however actually putting those words into action is a completely different story. 

It all fits together: I've been worrying about not following my words, and by worrying, I haven't been following. It just keeps going around in circles!  

For some reason today was the breaking point - I just wanted to cry. It probably had something to do with exams and lack of studying. Good one, Ames.

Instead of crying, I read John. All 21 chapters. 

Was taking that 45 minutes a good idea, with the stressful exam looming?

Yes. 


Honestly, I feel so much better. And, to top it off... I thought I wouldn't get anywhere with studying. Turns out it's way easier than it seemed. Hello miracle. 

I don't know about you, but I consistently forget how easy reading the Bible is. It feels like such a chore to me until I start reading... then I can't put it down! 

God is good, all of the time. I can't get over that. 

Even when I don't know what he's doing in my heart, I know he has the best plans. 

I love how I can trust that above anything else. 


It's hard to follow a lot of the time. It's the long, hard, narrow road, it's going to be difficult! 
But, it's so rewarding. I'm figuring that out slowly =) 

Read a book of the Bible. Right now. Forget about watching that movie, it's a waste of time compared to this. I promise! 

Oh, baby.

This darling girl was born yesterday at 11:34am. She's so beautifully perfect. Her nose is incredible. Her fingers make me want to cry. And her eyes take my breath away. 


Sweet baby girl, you're loved so much by your whole family! 


You're going to grow up into a teenager and an adult with all these same crazy problems that all the other girls have. You'll worry about being pretty, you'll worry about boys and friends and all of those unimportant things. But they'll be important to you, in the moment. 


But you're loved. So loved. 


I don't have to say 'don't forget that' because I know you won't. 
It'll be impossible with all these people around you, loving you so much. 


Your sweet big sister was so happy to meet you! Whenever you're mad at her, when you're both all grown up, just remember that. She loves you so much! 


I can't wait to get to know you better, niecy-poo ;) 

Upside down.

I can't help myself. 

The more I look at this, the more it looks like exactly what I need to be doing with my life. 

It's making people happy.

And it's music.

That's what I've always wanted to do. 

That's what I've always been good at. 

Music Therapy

It's kind of a dream come true. 

And, I know that God gave me this idea.

It wasn't just another one of my crazy life ideas. 

It also doesn't mean I have to go to school for 6 years to get a fancy Masters Degree, or anything like that.

I can be a Music Therapist to the teens that I already know and love. 

I thought that I wasn't doing the right thing, sticking with CBC. 

Turns out I am. 

Turns out working with Young Life when I didn't really want to is also the right thing. 

I love this life. 

I love how things keep turning out

just right. 

Even when they're turned upside down. 

God, you're so good. 

It's kind of incomprehensible. 

Recovery

I'm sure we've all heard something about Kony 2012 at this point. And I'm also sure that every one of us has a somewhat different opinion on the video, the organization behind it, and what we should be doing in response. 


Here's my two cents.
This is pretty strong language, but I'm going to go right ahead and say it: I think Kony 2012 was sabotaged. 
That's sort of a weird word to use, because I don't believe that anyone doing the sabotaging was doing it on purpose per-se. It was done instead out of a lack of education and understanding. 


When I booked the screening of Kony 2012 for Young Life in December I have to admit that I didn't do much research about Invisible Children. And when all the controversy hit, that was kind of embarrassing. I was supporting this organization that I knew nothing about, and I was expected to stick up for them... but I wasn't sure that I wanted to anymore! 
Really, all of the information that the media and the people around me were throwing out made me want to do everything but support them. 


It's scary how easily my opinions were swayed.


Two weeks ago we had a guest speaker in my Community Youth Work class - David Collins. He's the great man who started Food for the Hungry in Canada, and now heads up Paradigm Ministries, an organization devoted to international justice. 


I could not believe his response to Kony 2012.


I had this idea that Invisible Children was probably not supported by all these other people who are actually doing something about international justice, was I ever wrong!


Collins explained to us clearly the "way things work" in Africa and regarding the LRA. I wish he could sit down with each of you and explain it again (it requires a lot of drawing crazy diagrams and illustrations on the white board). 
The gist of his explanation however, is that no matter what we do, we are looking at these issues with a North American perspective. Unless of course we've done field work in a third world country. A prime example of such a perspective is this: Visible Children. A blog written by a university student that has no overseas experience. 
Collins argues that everything is based upon an experience that we've had. We change with each experience that we experience! And, if we were to actually go to the countries affected by the LRA's violence we would have an experience that would change everything. This is the experience that the people behind Invisible Children have had! The experience that prompted them to create the films that they have.  


When I look at it this way, I see how this movement has been sabotaged. Sabotaged by lack of experience, and a wish to have all of our voices heard louder than any one else's. 


I hope that this can make you think a bit about where you stand with Invisible Children and Kony 2012. 
Watch the sequel video - it's pretty interesting!


And overall, don't just jump on the bandwagon because it might be kind of fun to plaster your city with posters in the middle of the night. Jump on the bandwagon because it's something that needs to change. It's a huge horrible sadness that just seems to keep getting bigger in our world. 
Do something about it!


Work on your attitudes and your values, your responses to issues like this one! 


It's important. Really important :) 

The Part That Counts

I love having things to write about, because I'm learning new things. 
It's so exciting to be actually living. Not just going about the motions, but actually thinking about the out-come or consequence of everything that I am doing throughout my days/weeks/months. Really focusing on that in the past week has made such a difference, I knew that it would, but actually seeing it is pretty cool.
Also, seeing the flip side adds some very interesting perspective! Today, I forgot about being constantly aware of God's presence (because I was busy... busy! Pfft) I didn't really notice until the day was practically over, and then I realized that I missed opportunities to be loving rather than hateful. It shouldn't be so difficult, but it is! Getting caught up in some sort of messy situation is the easiest thing for us to do, and sometimes letting God walk into that messy situation is the hardest thing to do. 
Can you imagine if that was turned around all of the time?! That's what I want my life to look like!


I wrote these lyrics last night, I don't think they really go with the music I wrote for them yet. So, I'm sure the words will change, and the notes will change. I thought I would share them despite that as they are about exactly what I've been talking about! 
It was one of those neat times when the words just came pouring out, and all I had to do was step out of the way and let God speak. No matter how many times that happens,I don't just get used to it, it's forever the most wonderful feeling!


We're locked out of our houses and into our minds
all we see is open doors, a thousand moving parts
we're like branches, only leaping in a wind storm


Do I live like your love is true?
Does your brilliance show through?
Is comprehension enough, to know you're in the room?
Does it fall heavy on my heart now, Lord? 


too many thousand moving parts 
of simply loving you
all we see is open doors
following you through them
the part that counts


I write my name in invisible ink
so they don't worry too much
they don't see you too much

keep track of these thousand moving parts

I lose myself

I lose myself 

I lose you

Do I live like your love is true?
Am I awake to the awe of you?


The part that counts. Actually doing something about something. Not just getting caught up in everything. Listening, and thinking before taking action. Communicating clearly in every aspect of your relationships. Honouring people by showing them honesty.
That's what I've been learning this week. 
What about you?