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Title Change

and other things too.

My mind has been stirred up today, in a good way!

I'm writing an exegetical paper on Genesis 22 this week - The story where God calls Abraham to sacrifice his only son Isaac, and Abraham obeys, the entire time having faith that God will provide a "way out." And, of course, God does. 

The thing that I love about this story isn't the great example of obedience and faith, it's actually the part that comes at the very beginning of the story. 

"He said to him, 'Abraham!' 

'Here am I' he replied.  - Genesis 22:1

Here am I. He answers promptly. Ready to do anything. He is constantly waiting on God. He's constantly listening for the next command. 

He's never wandering around in the apathetic state that I am so often living in, that so many of us are living in. 

What would change if I could start listening to God the way Abraham listens to God?

I had a long talk today with a good friend about all kinds of important things, this same idea being one of them. Being aware of God in every single moment of your life. Let me say that again:

Being aware of God in every single moment of your life. 

He's with you right now, wherever you are. He was with me earlier today when I was so concerned with my outward appearance, when I complained about that person, when I felt that sick pride, when I wasn't brave enough to say something about that person's demeaning behaviour. He was there. 

I don't know about you, but having a greater awareness of God's presence makes me think twice about everything I do. What would change if I started to live more like God wants me to live?

That's a question I really want to find the answer to. It's going to be beautiful, whatever it looks like. 

For I, the Lord your God,
    hold your right hand;
it is I who say to you, “Fear not,
    I am the one who helps you.” - Isaiah 41:13

When I was so nervous this morning to say the things I know I needed to say, God was holding my hand. 

He Was There.

And I could feel it. And I wasn't afraid anymore. 

He's not just there at all the points that you're doing things that could be considered questionable, he's there when you're doing wonderful, beautiful, glorious, fun, scary, happy things. 

And he loves you. Not because he has to, but because he gets to. 

Arts Club Theatre

The Importance of Being Ernest

I think I just died. 

I love this play so much... you actually have no idea.

It's wonderful. 

It's also $45 for only "okay" seats. 

This is when I really need a boyfriend to take me on fun dates ;)

Just kidding...

But really! 

I want to go so badly!I love live theatre so much, and haven't been in oh so long!

It's playing 'til April 15th, so I do have some time to convince someone it's worth it. 

We'll just have to see!

Check it all out here:

http://www.artsclub.com/20112012/plays/the-importance-of-being-earnest.htm

El Espolio

I did a study on this poem/painting for English in grade 12 and really liked it! I was going through my computer deleting old files tonight, and came across the paper I wrote, so I thought I'd share!

The painting by El Greco was compleated in 1579. 

The poem was written by Earle Birney in 1953 after he saw an exhibit of the artist's works in France. 

The carpenter is intent on the pressure of his hand,
on the awl and the trick of pinpointing his strength
through the awl to the wood which is tough.
He has no effort to spare for despoilings
or to worry if he'll be cut in on the dice.
His skill is vital to the scene and the safety of the state.
Anyone can perform the indignities. It's his hard arms
and craft that hold the eyes of the convict's women.
There is the problem of getting the holes exact
(in the middle of this elbowing crowd)
and deep enough to hold the spikes
after they've sunk through those bared feet
and inadequate wrists he knows are waiting behind him.

He doesn't sense perhaps that one of the hands
is held in a curious gesture over him--
giving or asking forgiveness?-
but he'd scarcely take time to be puzzled by poses...
Criminals come in all sorts, -
as anyone knows who makes crosses-
are as mad or sane as those who decide on their killings.
Our one at least has been quiet so far
though they say he talked himself into this trouble,
a carpenter's son who got notions of preaching.

Well here's a carpenter's son who'll have carpenter sons,
God willing, and build what's wanted:
temples or tables, mangers or crosses,
and shape them decently,
working alone in that firm and profound abstraction
which blots out the bawling of rag-snatchers,
To construct with hands knee-weight braced thigh
keeps the back turned from death.

But it's too late now for the other carpenter's boy
to return to this peace before the nails are hammered...

- Earle Birney

Wish my voice would echo through galaxies and such

to scratch the surface of explaining to you just how much I'm glad. 


I have credit transactions to code before tomorrow morning for work.
I have a massive reading report to finish and a 6 page paper to write by Tuesday for school. 
I have two pieces that should be relatively put together by Tuesday, as well as scales to get up to 80 bpm by Wednesday for piano. 
However, there are all kinds of things for me to think about that are far more important. Here are five of them:


1. If I was a millionaire I'd redecorate every season. All of this makes me want to die.


2. Babies and balloons are almost too much to handle. I love these! 

3. Jillian Edwards is my favourite, plus her album is free on Noistrade! Non-fiction love song makes me super happy. 

4. Tom Lee Music is having a sale this weekend and I kind of want to buy a Yamaha keyboard for $1700. Sort of a fortune and almost as much as I spent on my car... but whatever. Also, did you know that they can charge you $38 for a metronome? They can. That's the cheapest one I could find anywhere. Why?


5. Finally, I would just like to say: my life is exciting right now. 
I'm learning how to be patient, how to listen to what I know is right. I'm learning that things that I don't necessarily like are things that could maybe/possibly/probably be things that I am going to LOVE in the future. 
I've been sort of barely pushing through for the past few months, but now I sort of feel like I'm just floating along. It's great!


Not that it is all due to this, but I think some of it is from starting to take piano more seriously. I'm loving it more than I even thought I would... and you have to realize that I thought I was going to love it. 


I'm really excited for the future, but that's nothing new.  I've always been really excited for the future; the difference is that now I'm content with waiting for the future. I'm happy just being me, here, now, being happy. 

I'm doing what I love. 

And I love it. 

Duh. 

loving.

Today only comes once every four years... That makes it pretty special. However, every day only comes once a year, so that makes them all pretty special.

I'm so in love with my life, sometimes I forget that. Here are 10 things that make me remember just how in love I am!

1. how I have meaningful conversations with all of my friends.
2. that I like reading books.
3. that I know my family loves me and will always love me no matter what.
4. how God shows me what is best, even when I don't want to see it.
5. that I feel so fulfilled when playing the piano.
6. that I like living in the rain
7. how hugging people is something I do regularly.
8. when Celia smiles so big that her eyes close.
9. how I have the honour and responsibility of being a role model to so many youth.
10. that I'm healthy, and my family is healthy.

There is just so much to love :)

Windows and Learning Curves.

1. Clean the window

2. Admire the streak free shine.

3. Admire the view.

4. Feel like the best 50's housewife ever. 

Check. 

Windows are the most satisfying things to clean! 

I was supposed to study today as midterms are coming up. However, I decided to clean instead! It's the best kind of procrastination. 

Afterwards I learned this song on piano! The lyrics are great, I can't get enough of it. 

On that note,  I've been arranging and writing so much more music lately, it's just awesome!

Although I keep thinking that I'm most likely going to burn out sometime soon with my 11/2 hrs of lessons per week (which means 11/2 hrs of practice per day) I honestly don't see it happening! I just love piano so much, its crazy. I think not taking lessons since 14 has given me a chance to "grow up" musically, and I have my own style, rather than playing the way a teacher trained me to. 

I am already seeing the benefits of my practising in my own music, it's really exciting! Plus, the prospect of actually giving to others through teaching music makes any thoughts of not wanting to practice disappear... I'm liking having a goal to work toward, rather than just playing for the sake of playing. 

Grown up.

Or, getting there anyway.

Creativity makes me really happy. Being artistic is what I aspire to every single day, and because of that I tend to get really down on myself for not being talented/creative enough. Really, I have nothing to worry about.

This quote makes me so happy:

Lately I've felt like my happiness has been hanging by a thread. If I wasn't the sort of person that I am I probably would be telling myself that I'm suffering from depression and go get some drug to help out... I'm glad I'm not that sort of person! Because, being the sort of person that I am, I've figured out (or, I think I've figured out) what has been getting me down lately. Super exciting, I know. 

I haven't been myself lately at all. 

And yep, as much as I hate to admit it, I've just been trying to impress people.  Hoping desperately that if I do everything that I think they'll like, they'll like me oh so much more. 

Yeah... it didn't happen. 

I haven't been myself in ages and ages.

Tonight? Victory! 

I went for coffee with one of the pastors and his wife from TXC, two people who I really don't know at all. I didn't notice it until later when I was driving home, but... I WAS MYSELF THE WHOLE TIME! 

This is kind of funny, but I judged it partially on the way that I laughed. It was Amy's laugh... not one of the many that I seem to pick up from everyone around me. 

I can see myself growing up like crazy... It's fabulous.