Upside down.

I can't help myself. 

The more I look at this, the more it looks like exactly what I need to be doing with my life. 

It's making people happy.

And it's music.

That's what I've always wanted to do. 

That's what I've always been good at. 

Music Therapy

It's kind of a dream come true. 

And, I know that God gave me this idea.

It wasn't just another one of my crazy life ideas. 

It also doesn't mean I have to go to school for 6 years to get a fancy Masters Degree, or anything like that.

I can be a Music Therapist to the teens that I already know and love. 

I thought that I wasn't doing the right thing, sticking with CBC. 

Turns out I am. 

Turns out working with Young Life when I didn't really want to is also the right thing. 

I love this life. 

I love how things keep turning out

just right. 

Even when they're turned upside down. 

God, you're so good. 

It's kind of incomprehensible. 

Recovery

I'm sure we've all heard something about Kony 2012 at this point. And I'm also sure that every one of us has a somewhat different opinion on the video, the organization behind it, and what we should be doing in response. 


Here's my two cents.
This is pretty strong language, but I'm going to go right ahead and say it: I think Kony 2012 was sabotaged. 
That's sort of a weird word to use, because I don't believe that anyone doing the sabotaging was doing it on purpose per-se. It was done instead out of a lack of education and understanding. 


When I booked the screening of Kony 2012 for Young Life in December I have to admit that I didn't do much research about Invisible Children. And when all the controversy hit, that was kind of embarrassing. I was supporting this organization that I knew nothing about, and I was expected to stick up for them... but I wasn't sure that I wanted to anymore! 
Really, all of the information that the media and the people around me were throwing out made me want to do everything but support them. 


It's scary how easily my opinions were swayed.


Two weeks ago we had a guest speaker in my Community Youth Work class - David Collins. He's the great man who started Food for the Hungry in Canada, and now heads up Paradigm Ministries, an organization devoted to international justice. 


I could not believe his response to Kony 2012.


I had this idea that Invisible Children was probably not supported by all these other people who are actually doing something about international justice, was I ever wrong!


Collins explained to us clearly the "way things work" in Africa and regarding the LRA. I wish he could sit down with each of you and explain it again (it requires a lot of drawing crazy diagrams and illustrations on the white board). 
The gist of his explanation however, is that no matter what we do, we are looking at these issues with a North American perspective. Unless of course we've done field work in a third world country. A prime example of such a perspective is this: Visible Children. A blog written by a university student that has no overseas experience. 
Collins argues that everything is based upon an experience that we've had. We change with each experience that we experience! And, if we were to actually go to the countries affected by the LRA's violence we would have an experience that would change everything. This is the experience that the people behind Invisible Children have had! The experience that prompted them to create the films that they have.  


When I look at it this way, I see how this movement has been sabotaged. Sabotaged by lack of experience, and a wish to have all of our voices heard louder than any one else's. 


I hope that this can make you think a bit about where you stand with Invisible Children and Kony 2012. 
Watch the sequel video - it's pretty interesting!


And overall, don't just jump on the bandwagon because it might be kind of fun to plaster your city with posters in the middle of the night. Jump on the bandwagon because it's something that needs to change. It's a huge horrible sadness that just seems to keep getting bigger in our world. 
Do something about it!


Work on your attitudes and your values, your responses to issues like this one! 


It's important. Really important :) 

The Part That Counts

I love having things to write about, because I'm learning new things. 
It's so exciting to be actually living. Not just going about the motions, but actually thinking about the out-come or consequence of everything that I am doing throughout my days/weeks/months. Really focusing on that in the past week has made such a difference, I knew that it would, but actually seeing it is pretty cool.
Also, seeing the flip side adds some very interesting perspective! Today, I forgot about being constantly aware of God's presence (because I was busy... busy! Pfft) I didn't really notice until the day was practically over, and then I realized that I missed opportunities to be loving rather than hateful. It shouldn't be so difficult, but it is! Getting caught up in some sort of messy situation is the easiest thing for us to do, and sometimes letting God walk into that messy situation is the hardest thing to do. 
Can you imagine if that was turned around all of the time?! That's what I want my life to look like!


I wrote these lyrics last night, I don't think they really go with the music I wrote for them yet. So, I'm sure the words will change, and the notes will change. I thought I would share them despite that as they are about exactly what I've been talking about! 
It was one of those neat times when the words just came pouring out, and all I had to do was step out of the way and let God speak. No matter how many times that happens,I don't just get used to it, it's forever the most wonderful feeling!


We're locked out of our houses and into our minds
all we see is open doors, a thousand moving parts
we're like branches, only leaping in a wind storm


Do I live like your love is true?
Does your brilliance show through?
Is comprehension enough, to know you're in the room?
Does it fall heavy on my heart now, Lord? 


too many thousand moving parts 
of simply loving you
all we see is open doors
following you through them
the part that counts


I write my name in invisible ink
so they don't worry too much
they don't see you too much

keep track of these thousand moving parts

I lose myself

I lose myself 

I lose you

Do I live like your love is true?
Am I awake to the awe of you?


The part that counts. Actually doing something about something. Not just getting caught up in everything. Listening, and thinking before taking action. Communicating clearly in every aspect of your relationships. Honouring people by showing them honesty.
That's what I've been learning this week. 
What about you? 

Change

Title Change

and other things too.

My mind has been stirred up today, in a good way!

I'm writing an exegetical paper on Genesis 22 this week - The story where God calls Abraham to sacrifice his only son Isaac, and Abraham obeys, the entire time having faith that God will provide a "way out." And, of course, God does. 

The thing that I love about this story isn't the great example of obedience and faith, it's actually the part that comes at the very beginning of the story. 

"He said to him, 'Abraham!' 

'Here am I' he replied.  - Genesis 22:1

Here am I. He answers promptly. Ready to do anything. He is constantly waiting on God. He's constantly listening for the next command. 

He's never wandering around in the apathetic state that I am so often living in, that so many of us are living in. 

What would change if I could start listening to God the way Abraham listens to God?

I had a long talk today with a good friend about all kinds of important things, this same idea being one of them. Being aware of God in every single moment of your life. Let me say that again:

Being aware of God in every single moment of your life. 

He's with you right now, wherever you are. He was with me earlier today when I was so concerned with my outward appearance, when I complained about that person, when I felt that sick pride, when I wasn't brave enough to say something about that person's demeaning behaviour. He was there. 

I don't know about you, but having a greater awareness of God's presence makes me think twice about everything I do. What would change if I started to live more like God wants me to live?

That's a question I really want to find the answer to. It's going to be beautiful, whatever it looks like. 

For I, the Lord your God,
    hold your right hand;
it is I who say to you, “Fear not,
    I am the one who helps you.” - Isaiah 41:13

When I was so nervous this morning to say the things I know I needed to say, God was holding my hand. 

He Was There.

And I could feel it. And I wasn't afraid anymore. 

He's not just there at all the points that you're doing things that could be considered questionable, he's there when you're doing wonderful, beautiful, glorious, fun, scary, happy things. 

And he loves you. Not because he has to, but because he gets to. 

Arts Club Theatre

The Importance of Being Ernest

I think I just died. 

I love this play so much... you actually have no idea.

It's wonderful. 

It's also $45 for only "okay" seats. 

This is when I really need a boyfriend to take me on fun dates ;)

Just kidding...

But really! 

I want to go so badly!I love live theatre so much, and haven't been in oh so long!

It's playing 'til April 15th, so I do have some time to convince someone it's worth it. 

We'll just have to see!

Check it all out here:

http://www.artsclub.com/20112012/plays/the-importance-of-being-earnest.htm

El Espolio

I did a study on this poem/painting for English in grade 12 and really liked it! I was going through my computer deleting old files tonight, and came across the paper I wrote, so I thought I'd share!

The painting by El Greco was compleated in 1579. 

The poem was written by Earle Birney in 1953 after he saw an exhibit of the artist's works in France. 

The carpenter is intent on the pressure of his hand,
on the awl and the trick of pinpointing his strength
through the awl to the wood which is tough.
He has no effort to spare for despoilings
or to worry if he'll be cut in on the dice.
His skill is vital to the scene and the safety of the state.
Anyone can perform the indignities. It's his hard arms
and craft that hold the eyes of the convict's women.
There is the problem of getting the holes exact
(in the middle of this elbowing crowd)
and deep enough to hold the spikes
after they've sunk through those bared feet
and inadequate wrists he knows are waiting behind him.

He doesn't sense perhaps that one of the hands
is held in a curious gesture over him--
giving or asking forgiveness?-
but he'd scarcely take time to be puzzled by poses...
Criminals come in all sorts, -
as anyone knows who makes crosses-
are as mad or sane as those who decide on their killings.
Our one at least has been quiet so far
though they say he talked himself into this trouble,
a carpenter's son who got notions of preaching.

Well here's a carpenter's son who'll have carpenter sons,
God willing, and build what's wanted:
temples or tables, mangers or crosses,
and shape them decently,
working alone in that firm and profound abstraction
which blots out the bawling of rag-snatchers,
To construct with hands knee-weight braced thigh
keeps the back turned from death.

But it's too late now for the other carpenter's boy
to return to this peace before the nails are hammered...

- Earle Birney

Wish my voice would echo through galaxies and such

to scratch the surface of explaining to you just how much I'm glad. 


I have credit transactions to code before tomorrow morning for work.
I have a massive reading report to finish and a 6 page paper to write by Tuesday for school. 
I have two pieces that should be relatively put together by Tuesday, as well as scales to get up to 80 bpm by Wednesday for piano. 
However, there are all kinds of things for me to think about that are far more important. Here are five of them:


1. If I was a millionaire I'd redecorate every season. All of this makes me want to die.


2. Babies and balloons are almost too much to handle. I love these! 

3. Jillian Edwards is my favourite, plus her album is free on Noistrade! Non-fiction love song makes me super happy. 

4. Tom Lee Music is having a sale this weekend and I kind of want to buy a Yamaha keyboard for $1700. Sort of a fortune and almost as much as I spent on my car... but whatever. Also, did you know that they can charge you $38 for a metronome? They can. That's the cheapest one I could find anywhere. Why?


5. Finally, I would just like to say: my life is exciting right now. 
I'm learning how to be patient, how to listen to what I know is right. I'm learning that things that I don't necessarily like are things that could maybe/possibly/probably be things that I am going to LOVE in the future. 
I've been sort of barely pushing through for the past few months, but now I sort of feel like I'm just floating along. It's great!


Not that it is all due to this, but I think some of it is from starting to take piano more seriously. I'm loving it more than I even thought I would... and you have to realize that I thought I was going to love it. 


I'm really excited for the future, but that's nothing new.  I've always been really excited for the future; the difference is that now I'm content with waiting for the future. I'm happy just being me, here, now, being happy. 

I'm doing what I love. 

And I love it. 

Duh.